Living in Community
13 Mar 2010 1 Comment
One of the things I’ve discovered is vital for my children’s upbringing is to be supported from all sides as best I can. As a single mom, I can’t do that alone, not by a long shot. Nearly four years ago, I stepped out on my own just as I was about to start law school. That first year of being alone was not only scary but exhilarating. I peeled off the layers of my long time marriage and set about becoming my own self again, separate and distinct from the “us” of my marriage. I’d gotten lost in there somehow and was thrilled to finally go out and find me. Through these last few years, my tribe of truly true friends has remained by my side and I’ve picked up some new dear friends along the way. Thread by thread, person by person, my life began to take on a new colorful and delightful texture. It looks very different from the secure, outwardly cozy blanket of matrimony I’d worn before. Now my life looks more like a raucous, intricate, exotic, silky pattern of interconnectedness and joy.
Over the last six months, these threads have come together in ways I had only dreamed of to form a true community. This is the support system I had always hoped for my children and me. Introducing the cast of characters in this intricate web:
My life partner. Meet Timothy:
He’s a seriously funny man and that isn’t our baby. A storyteller, chef, improv expert, actor, dad, cyclist with a certain…style. This man reminds me to be playful and free of too much care. He is my guilty pleasure, a wellspring of joy, silliness, and passion.
Ryan, my 12 year-old son; superb reader and imaginer. He’s either going to Mars or writing a great novel about going to Mars. His talent with words astounds. At the age of four, he shocked his pediatrician when he used the words “apprehensive” and “panic” in perfect context. You’ll know about him someday.
Connor, my 10 year-old son; comedian, joker, mathematician. The next Jim Carrey. Or Beckham. Oh, and did I tell you he runs really fast? He has his very own videos on YouTube. Just search for “hi im bill” and see what you get. He wants to be famous and I have no doubt he’ll make that happen.
Devin, Timothy’s 10 year-old son. A voice like an angel, with a mischievous streak and sharp mind. He has a talent with making sounds-like a foley artist almost-which keeps us in stitches. He wants to be a scientist someday–and he has the mind for it. He may well find an extraterrestrial civilization.
Luka, Timothy’s 7 year-old son. Like his dad, he has a talent for the dramatic. Feels and lives all the way to the edges of his cells. He’s often the odd man out so we root for him a lot. But he’s the first to have a “real” girlfriend though he’s the youngest. Ah, like father….
Kat, our sweet, wonderful friend and roommate. Kat is a nurse and a healer. Her search for wisdom has taken her far afield, into science as well as spirit. She’s a deeply grounding presence with piercing insight. Her son, Thorbin, won’t be posted for want of his father’s consent. Oh well, not everything is perfect.
Alexis, my very dear friend, writer, inspirer of many, and now neighbor. She was/is a lawyer but more importantly she helps people find the way to their true nature and path. Visit www.alexismartinneely.com to learn more about Alexis.
Dave, Alexis’ boyfriend and business partner, marketing guru, and magician (really!). He sneaks in and out from Atlanta and makes a mean pasta dish. Dave has two children we have not yet met but he talks about all the time. We’re hoping he’ll bring them out sometime. Visit his site at www.davedee.com.
Kaia, Alexis’ 10 year-old daughter, and one of my favoritest young ladies in all the world. Spunky, bossy, smart, and beautiful, she occupies a fair amount of my heart’s real estate. She’s the only girl in the mix but holds her own quite well.
Noah, Alexis’ 6 year-old son. The first child, other than my own, who’s birth I witnessed. He has a mind of his own that works in surprising ways. Gifted with the computer and a wealth of quiet, unstated knowledge. He knows way more than he’s telling. This photo doesn’t show how truly beautiful he is. I’ll update it with a better one later.
Todd, Kaia and Noah’s dad, Alexis’ ex-husband. He lives with Alexis and the kids and has developed a strong, working relationship with Alexis–something to be envied. My old, trusted, honest friend who has the courage to tell it like it is even when it hurts. He’s friends with my ex-husband. I’m hoping Todd rubs off on him.
Corina, Alexis’ executive assistant and my former nanny. Brilliant, beautiful, and powerful. At the ripe old age of 20. We’re all going to be working for her someday. She really runs the show around here.
Melissa, Devin and Luka’s mom, Timothy’s ex-wife and a regular visitor. She is also my and Kat’s friend. Melissa is creative and expressive–an e-commerce manager for a national company. She too is a single mom, striving like the rest of us to raise her kids and live a full life. I’m so fortunate to actually like my boyfriend’s ex-wife and she, me.
Joanne, a long-time friend to both Alexis and me, our kids all went to the same nursery school together in California. Joanne is a spiritual inquirer of the highest order, she pursues spiritual insight like many people do money. Jo lives not too far away–she and her kids add even more dimension and fun to our lives. Isn’t she just gorgeous?
Steve, Joanne’s husband and friend. This couple has ridden the big, raucous roller coaster of life and managed to honor the wholeness in each other through it all. Steve’s a CFO and can crunch numbers like I’ve never seen before. He works for a prominent enlightened film company and travels back and forth between work and family.
Reese and Luc, Joanne and Steve’s boys. These are two exuberant boys with beautiful eyes. Both are homeschooled and have oodles of experience to show for it. They travel, explore, play, and discover. Watching them grow and learn in a natural setting has been a big blessing. They remind me that there are many ways to approach life!
There are many others who contribute to this ragtag group of moms and dads. Ex’s, sisters, brothers, grandmothers, grandfathers, cousins, nieces and nephews, employees, employers, and on and on. We may have some new arrivals soon if rumors about some of our family members are accurate. I’ll update this as we grow or shrink.
Lex and I will write about the goings on in our little community, and post about how we are making it work, how we would do it differently, and what works and what fails miserably. Soon, we’ll post video blogs with all the nitty-gritty details, absurdities, and joys. I hope you join us as we figure this whole thing out because it is so much fun, so life-giving, and just the right thing, right now.
Mar 20, 2010 @ 11:12:40
Loved it all and what a wonderful community it is