It Ain’t All Fun & Games
29 Apr 2010 1 Comment
But sometimes, it is.
A boy-child roaming around the neighborhood loaded BB gun in hand. A innocent shove that breaks an elbow; a scuffle and a scratch that leaves little pink tracks of flaked skin; a father leaning over a child’s addition drama, a mother hustling to make dinner for 12, another rushing out the door to work. One boy trying to negotiate for more video game time. Another one cuts the head off a garter snake.
Timothy and I fall into bed, exhausted.
Complexity is our norm now that we are living in community. There are so many people to consider, each with their own view of the world, their own journeys to take, their own expectations met or unmet. Conflict could be the norm. But it’s not. Complexity is.
The other day, one of the boys had been given the okay to use his BB gun, at the request of a neighbor who wanted some help chasing off fuzzy little bunnies nibbling his newly planted lettuces. No one asked me about it. After all, it wasn’t my child. But the boy went farther afield, walking around the cul de sac, yellow sunglasses covering mischief-seeking eyes. I didn’t think much of it. After all, it wasn’t my child.
Todd, dear sweet Todd, had his eye shot out with a BB gun at a young age. By his brother. I’ve known that for a long time. When you meet Todd, you almost have to ask about the small black dot in his clear blue eyes and why it wanders slightly to the outside. Still, it didn’t dawn on me that the child walking around BB gun in hand might present a problem. Not until I saw Todd in his kitchen did I remember—really consider—what he thought of the BB gun. Because guns, any gun, makes Todd shake.
Suddenly, I recognized that I was not happy about the BB gun in a small neighborhood filled with little kids. I had to set a limit, if not for my own very real objection to guns of all kinds, then for Todd. So I talked to the child’s parent about it, which could have gone horribly wrong, or ended in an argument or coldness. But it didn’t. It ended in a loving agreement that children will not walk around unattended with BB guns in the neighborhood.
Because we care about one another.
It ain’t all fun and games, no it isn’t. But it is worthwhile.
May 02, 2010 @ 19:46:37
I feel partly to blame for the bb gun thing. We have lots of guns and bows and such in Door County and D loves that stuff when he is there.
When I was a kid, that stuff stayed at the beach house, and was not allowed back in the suburban neighborhood. The one time I did break this rule, I ended up shooting out a expensive double pane picture window. oops.
Makes me want to live in a TeePee in Alaska. Every parent of a boy that loves the outdoors needs to read this book: http://tinyurl.com/johnsbooklist1